You've landed a job as a greeting card writer. However, there's a catch. You have to write greetings for really strange situations. Pick a strange situation and write a greeting card message. Here's an idea of what I mean to help get you started:
The loss of a toenail can be tough.
Who knew that fungus could be so rough?
Don't worry, though, you'll pull through;
But call the doctor if your toe turns blue!
You get the idea: come up with a weird situation and write a greeting card message.
Yes, you are another year older,
ReplyDeleteAnd that bald spot on your head gets bolder.
But just remember you can always buy a hat,
Or a toupee that resembles a rat!
The gas prices may be rising,
And the pain it puts in your pockets is not lying.
But there is a solution for all this crazy,
Get off your butt to walk and quit being so lazy!
(Cover)
ReplyDeleteSoar to new heights!
Shoot for the stars!
The sky's the limit!
(Inside)
Congratulations on your new propeller hat!
Outside of card: Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteInside of card:
you got your first filling,
And you didn’t cry when the dentist was drilling
So congratulation heres to you,
A cookie and a card because you made it through.
(attached is a cookie :)
...mm cookies sound really good right now. :) I wish I got this card.
Just remember...Don't forget to take your pill, and plant your flower seed.Becuase once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
ReplyDeleteYouve done something new with your hair,
ReplyDeleteand its certainly interesting to look at.
Its got its own....unique kind of flair,
And in congrats I bought you a hat.
Congrats on losing a contact down the drain
ReplyDeleteit is better than an ankle sprain.
Now you see clearly through one eye
but some people say its harder to cry and no one really knows why!
Look at that,
ReplyDeleteyour battery won't start!
Looks like you have a brain fart.
Don't worry the day will end out fair,
because there is a banquet, so don't despair!
And look! Someone has a starter!
But in the end
you'll still have to talk to your father.
It'll never grow back butt...
ReplyDeleteAt least the beaver got a nutritious treat! Sorry to hear a beaver bit your nipple off.
But*
DeleteThere's someone I know who always lends an ear,
ReplyDeleteHe never complains or even sheds a tear.
He's the friendliest guy anyone could meet,
With a happy smile that nobody's could beat.
Who am I talking about? I think you have a guess.
Let him know on this special day that I think he's the best!
Happy Birthday to your dog.
Cover:
ReplyDeleteAPRIL FOOLS!!
Inside:
You've been fired.
. . .
Just kidding.
Not.
Have a nice day! :)