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4-17
You are a newly hired writer for the National Enquirer, a "newspaper" not known for accuracy or truthfulness. Your assignment: write an article about an outlandish topic. For instance: "I was Bigfoot's Bride," or "UFO Aliens Abducted Dog," or something else just as weird and wacky. Good luck!
World record snowfall happens in the hottest place on earth! People are wondering what all the crazy white stuff is falling from the sky and cars are sliding all over the road due to the lack of experience of driving in snow.
ReplyDeletePolice using surveillance video have convicted a man of stealing a shopping cart full of toothpaste from a Massachusetts grocery store on Monday Night. After filling the cart, he went right outside the door of the store and brushed his teeth until the police arrived.
ReplyDeleteScott walker abducted by Aliens! Took him to a place where he will never be able to return here. Family holds a get together to grieve. No one shows up.
ReplyDeleteAbe Lincoln Sighting in Ikea
ReplyDeleteOne of America's greatest presidents, who was believed to be assassinated 147 years ago in a D.C. area theatre, was seen purchasing furiture for his Washington D.C. home in a local Ikea store. When asked why he would support a Swedish manufacturer instead of one of his own nation, he replied, "I've been commended for my honesty for a century and a half now, so I'm gonna level with ya: the Swedes know their loveseats." Other shoppers were reportedly unbothered by Lincoln's sudden reapperance.
Tired of paying for gas? Run cars on Soup! Fast, easy, and cheap! Chickenmobile Unlimited. In stores soon!
ReplyDeleteThe latest scientific studies have shown that the weather trends have been controlled by unique radio waves. These waves disturb the ozone and outer hemispheres of the Earth to disrupt any normal weather patterns. American and Chinese scientists have gone to war with each other on a new ground, by attacking each others countries with hurricanes, violent storms, and extreme droughts in an attempt to destroy any opposing nation. No longer does a country need soldiers to attack a location; they only need to activate radio wave.
ReplyDeleteSesame Streets "Big Bird" commits suicide. Grover and Cookie Monster are distraught, but Oscar the Grouch said that he saw it coming. The scene was a mess, feathers all over the nest! Elmo was interviewed and he said that the bird has been depressed for month, pending a sexual investigation." An unknown source has reviled the Bird has been suspended without pay, pending trial decisions." The rest of the details are a little sketchy. Bert and Ernie plan to speak at the service on Friday at noon on the birds behalf. All media is banned from the service, as to not ruffle the feathers of the family!
ReplyDeleteBREAKING NEWS!
ReplyDeleteThe Creature from the Black Lagoon has been spotted in Colfax, Wisconsin. Officials say to keep an eye out for the creature. The creature will most likely be in the river so swimming and fishing are not advised. If you spot anything supicious, call your local law enforcement as soon as possible.
A Volcano erupts in Colfax, Wisconsin! Apparently there was a hidden volcano under the school and Sunday night it erupted and melted the whole entire school! Nothing but the school was damaged. Workers and teachers are baffled, but the students are still rejoicing!
ReplyDeleteA real life dinosaur spotted! Roaming about on the banks of the Red Cedar River, the over grown creature was looking for food and seemed playful.
ReplyDeleteIs Nikki Manaj actually a rabbit? We have reason to believe that Nikki Manaj is really a rabbit wearing a human suit, which would explain her eccentric behavior. She was seen last Thursday drinking from a rabbit water bottle and hopping into a vegan restaurant.
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